Point of no Return

(*I wrote this in 1st period instead paying attention...I had to get it out...Don't worry. I'm not dying*)

Where is the point of no return? How can we get back something that we never had in the first place? Everybody smiling, laughing and joking around...How do we know we've had enough? Where's that line? We're all being played. Everybody has to follow the fucking rules or nobodies happy.

How do we distinguish between wrong or right? Nobody will notice when you go missing...To them, you're just another girl, another person, another damn body. Parents just think that you're just another mouth to feed...

Nobody notices your pain. Nobody pays attention. You fake a smile to let them think that you're alright. Sure, other people have got it worse. I get that. I really do.

What happens when you've had enough? When you can't go on?

Where did this darkness come from? I break down in tears everyday and I don't know what I'm crying about. Why is this happening to me? Nobody knows whats going on...My mom thinks everything alright...

She thinks I'm a happy go lucky person...All smiles...All laughs...How do I tell her that I'm in a funk? All I want is to be left alone. I don't want to see a shrink...I don't want to be on pills...locked up. I just want to be me. Why can't you just leave me alone?

I don't want to smile. I don't want to eat...I want to sleep and never wake up...Do I dare to dream? Dream of false hope? What's happen when I pick up that knife and cut? Will it make me feel better? Maybe not...but maybe it'll take the edge off.

What happens when we've reached rock bottom? Feelings, emotions...I'm crying and I don't know why...Everyday...Every night...Nightmares continue to plague my dreams. they keep me awake and into the dawn...

Where is the point of no return? When I find it...

I'll let you know.