Ramblings Near Midnight

Hey all, 


Finals are this week. I can't believe that summer quarter is almost already over! I've meet and made some new friends, too! What will I do with the rest of my summer? Sleep in? Go to the fair? Get another tattoo? Hm. That sounds like a good idea! Lol! 

I recently switched rooms with my little brother. I got the smaller one--but it's more in the back of the house and not in the hallway like it was before. It blocks out noise and it's quiet. I like that. I really do. No longer will I have to hear people thumping down the hallway or hear loud voices to wake me up. No. I can sleep in peace and know that only in less than a month, I'll have to leave. 

Leave for my new beginning. Into a dorm room that I will share with another person. The bittersweet reality is that I'll be leaving home and doing better things with my life. 

But before I leave, I'm going to try and lose weight. I want to lose 60 pounds. I want to be able to fit into my damn jeans and shorts again. I'm so unhappy with  myself. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I felt good when I lost all that weight the first time around, but now I've gained every single pound back. Am I happy? No, not really. 

Who am I to complain? Some other people have it worse than I do. I should be grateful for what I've got--even if it is a few extra pounds. I wouldn't want to be overly skinny--nah, that's just too over-rated. I want to do what will make ME happy--not other people. If it makes them happy in the process, fine for them.

I miss my best friend. You know what the strange thing is? I miss being in high school. If I could redo it all, I would. I loved high school. Who knows--maybe when I die, I can live out my dreams. That sounds silly, doesn't it? I think so, but I don't really care what anybody else thinks. 

It's supposed to be 105 on Monday. Damn. Make sure to drink plenty of water. I'm going to be riding my bike home on Monday! My grandfather fixed the tires for me, and I'm going to have my mom drop me off so I can get it and then ride it the rest of the way to school. (Which, by the way, is all UPHILL). 

Well, as I sit here, drinking my water and contemplating on what I want to do next, I shall bid you adieu. 

Until next time, 

~Rio