Emotionally Distant

You say that I’m distant

You say that I hide my feelings

You say that I’m closed off

You say that I don’t have any feelings

You say that I’ll never be in a relationship

You say that I have my box

You say that you want into my space

You say that you want to get to know me

You say that you want to love me

You say that I don’t cry

You say that you want me to share

You say you want me to share

You say that you want me to love you back

You say you want me to say those words that you always say

You say I’m a bitch

You say that you’re tired of it all

You say that you want me to open up

You say you want me to be normal

I ask you why you love me

I ask you why you want me to say it back

I ask you if it brings you any contentment

I ask you why you care

I ask you to leave me alone

I ask you to give me space

I ask you to let me adjust

I ask you to leave me in my box

I ask you to respect me and my box

I ask you to give me time

You say that I’m emotionally distant

You say that I’m distant in general

You keep asking me why I’m distant

I ask you why it even matters

You say that you love me

I ask you “Do You?”

You say that you do

I tell you why I’m distant

“It started when I was thirteen” was my reply

Maybe you’re right

Maybe I won’t have anybody else in my life

Maybe I won’t let anybody else in

Maybe I block everything out

Maybe I block it out because of the anger, the hurt, and the sadness

Maybe I even block out the happiness

To me, I like my box

To me, you are nothing

To me, you’re just another person

To me, I see myself

I look at my reflection and weight my thoughts

‘Am I pretty enough?’

‘I wish I was like her’

‘I wish I was accepted’

‘I wish I was perfect’

You say I need to change

You say I need to “Be Myself”

You say I need to smile more

You say I need to laugh more

I ask you why I should change

I ask you “What does that mean?”

I ask you if you’ve seen me smile

I ask you if you’ve seen me laugh

Give me a chance

Give me hope

Give me time

Give me space

Give me faith

Give me love

I don’t like the same things you do

I don’t like the same clothing as you

I don’t have the same friends you do

I don’t have anything as you

I guess what I’m trying to say is:

I’m perfect in my own way

I’m perfect in my world

I’m perfect in my eyes

I’m perfect in my version of “myself”

I’m perfect in my own justification

I may be emotionally distant

I may be physically distant

I may be physiologically distant

I may be distant in general

You can’t change who I am

You can’t change what I believe

You can’t change my morals

You can’t change my entire being just to please you

You can’t change me just because I have a flaw

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

You may like it

You may not like it

You may hate it

You may detest it

I am beautiful

And nothing can bring me down