Once

To say that something is on my mind would be a complete lie. For I do have something on my mind. What's on my mind, you ask? I have a million things running through my head and the voices are only getting louder and louder, but all I hear is white noise. Relaxing is out of the question when my very future hangs in the very balance. I have questioned myself over and over again, but I never get the answer's that I want. Am I perceiving what I only want to perceive? Am I getting what I show other people? All these things run throughout my head. Who am I? What will I become? Will I be successful? Will somebody ever love me? Over and over again, these questions continue to run throughout my head. My head pulses with aches and sharp pains that make me want to end it all. People are constantly yelling at me, telling me to do better... Fuck them. They don't know me. They don't know the 'real' me. But then... Do I even know who the 'real' me is? Am I so caught up in the facade that I show other people that even I am starting to believe it? I guess I don't know anymore... I knew at one point... Now... It's vanished.