Full Force Confession, Pt. 2

I guess I kind've gave a short explanation on why I'm in pain.

It weighs down my concious
My heart, my soul
My body and my mind
This pain I feel
But afraid to say anything
For fear it might hurt someone

I've wanted to say something
But the words catch in my throat
I let it all happen.

Drama. Unwanted
I hate it with a passion
Thats why I didn't say anything
I guess you could say

But now?
I can't lie with it anymore
I have to say something
Even if it means losing a friend
And maybe some respect

I'm not a whore
I'm not a slut
I'm not a backstabbing bitch

I'm hurting and I don't know what to do
Should I write it out or keep it in?
Do I really care anymore?

Y'all have the right to be happy
I want to be happy
But obsticles keep getting in my way

I want my baby to keep me in the light
I want him to protect me from my demons
Want him to be my night and shining armor

I'm sorry for feeling dumb
Being the weak link
Always causing pain

I can't get past this at all.
All these funks I feel
I only cause people pain
And it makes me feel more like shit

Maybe I am...
Maybe I'm not...
I feel your emotions
I feel what you feel

My heart...
Beats one less beat
My breath...
Breaths one less breath
My smile...
Smiles one less smile
My laugh...
Laughs one less laugh
My joy...
Joys one less joy
My goofy mood...
Goofs one less goof...

What should I do?
I can't do this anymore..

Falling..
I'm falling
My voice doesn't exsist
My movements are frozen

I watch as you all move
Laughing, dancing, smiling
Happy, carefree, joking around

I'm stuck in the dark
I try and reach out for you
But my fear gets the best of me...

My baby...
My Biker Man
My Wolfie
My Man
Is in the arms of another woman.

Both are happy and carefree.
The smile on his face
The joy in his eyes

I know that it'll never happen
But it's a fear
I know he's faithful
I know he'll stay

I shouldn't be worried
I'm strong
I'm independent
I'm me

But now?
In the lingering of the night
The blurr of the stars
The light of the moon

My face flickers in the flames of the fire place
My eyes...unreadable
My emotions....cut off
I feel nothing but emptiness

Can't somebody help me from this hell?
To end all my pain and suffering?

I'll fake my smiles
I'll fake my laughs
I'll fake my happiness
Just to keep you happy

This is it
That's all I have to say
Or is it?
I have more to say

But for now,
I'll keep quiet

I'll put a smile on my face
Just for you

I'll keep you laughing
I'll keep you smiling
I'll keep you loving me

~Finis~