Masquerade

I guess I don't really know what to say. Should I just let the words flow from my finger tips, like a stream into a river?

I guess you could say that I'm a happy go lucky person...but on the inside, I hurt. I hurt because I know when my friends are in trouble and I can't do anything to help them. I'm lost at what to say. I'm trying to stay happy without alerting them that something's wrong. But how far can a person goes before they break?

Drama...It's unwanted attention and it's a pain in the ass to deal with. It brings me down. Ruins my day. What happens when you're around it? You learn to shut the hell up and deal with it. Go with the flow, I guess.

Everything I do is a masquerade. (Kind of like that Backstreet Boy song...Yes, I love BSB!)...Keep on smiling even though everything's not ok. Write it out, talk it out. Talking it out isn't my thing, as my friends would know. I'm more of...the quiet type.

Even when I'm around all my friends, I can't help but feel lonely. My dad's family are complete jerks! They think they know what's best for me when in reality, they don't. They try to silence me and control me, telling me what's best for me. Guess what? You DON'T! Bet you didn't expect me to rebel back. I'm my own person. I may have been raised in a Christian family, but I'm far from Christian.

Inside, I'm angry. I'm angry at the world. At society. People think they know everything. It's not just that they have to rub it in, they have to fuckin' shove it all up in your face, Y'know? I don't really give two shits what you think about me, as long as you're honest. To be honest...please. People fucking lie all the damn time. (Yes, I know I have a really bad swearing problem)...

Listening to music keeps me really calm. I'm not the type to usually write things out, but I didn't want to end up with hand cramps every five minutes.

School's a real drag. I mean, Skyview's been in the news at least...5 times now. Nobody's allowed to talk about it. Pfft! Please! We're all fucking talking about it. The teachers are worried about what's going to happen next. Then they send out letters saying, "We're all tough. We'll get through this. I know we can. Storm will stay strong!"

What.The.Shit?! I don't have any school spirit. WhatsofreakinEVER! (Maybe in college I will...). Somtimes, I wanna go to a different school. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't ever moved away. It's hard...leaving everything you've known behind, making new friends and entering a new scene...But what the hell ever. I'm sorta happy here...in this shithole.

I wish for alot of things, acually. But none of them have come true. Dammit!
Is it wrong that I'm obsessed with sleep?
Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain....RAIN!!!!!!!!!!
That's all it ever fucking does.
Sure. We have sunny days...then it rains.
I want Snow and Ice
Will I get them?
NO!

Jocks= Football players

Preps= Popular People

Sluts= Cheerleaders

I have this cheerleader in my English class...so my new nickname for her is, "Hey, Cheerleader!" (But she doesn't know it, yet) Do I care if she's hurt? Maybe a lil...but that's not my problem. They're all the same. The school I go too, Skyview. The only nice thing about it is that everybody leaves you alone. Everybody has their own lil "Clique" they hang out in. Me? I have my own "group" of friends, I guess. I like to hang around people that hate Cheerleaders, Football players and Preps. People who have the same interest as me...So safe to say, I only have two or three "close" people I call my "Best Friends". But I only trust two of them.

One of them, I can trust with my life. She's like my sister and I love her dearly. We get along so well, it's not even funny.

The other one, I can talk too, I can also trust with my life. We just...click, you could say. For that, I'm truly grateful.

Bleeeeeeeeeegh! I'm ranting and dragging this on...aren't I? Well...Until the next time!

From,
Chicababes