Sorry I've been a little absent in my posts--between school and work, and well, life in general... But there is something that I wanted to talk to you about today.
My mom informed me a few weeks ago that my older brother and his dad had died. At first I was in denial, thinking that they weren't dead, that we had just seen them last summer. When we had last saw them, we spent HOURS catching up and bullshitting around, and they were happy and semi-healthy. We were going to go see my brother and his dad when I was on spring break...
I had felt numb for a few days. I would put on a front at work, and smile, but the happiness didn't reach my insides. I felt dead--like a void was inside me and I couldn't fill it back up.
I went through the stages of grief. I cried alot and then I got angry. I was angry because they died--by no fault of their own. Then I cried because I was angry, and eventually my eyes hurt from crying and I began to realize that they're never coming back. I've accepted this now.
That's why I flew home. I needed to be with my family and my mom--especially my mom. I've been away from home for about 5 1/2 months, and I needed her. I think we needed each other. I'm glad I came home, because we've talked about it. I feel a lot better, now that happiness is back inside me, even though I still miss them terribly. I will always miss them.
We're going to put my brother in the family plot today. He was cremated and my mom got his ashes today. It's going to be hard, I think. My grandparents and uncle are coming, but then my cousin and his girlfriend are going to be there too. I understand my cousin, but his girlfriend? That pisses me off. This is a FAMILY thing and as far as I'm concerned, my cousin's girlfriend is NOT family and she shouldn't be there. It's so rude. This is about MOM, not him. He makes it a point to turn things around and make the situation about him. If he says anything to make it about him, I'm going to say something. I don't care if it's rude or not.
Anyway... If there's a death in your family or even the death of a friend, remember to lean on those you love. They can help you through the process. Even if you want to be by yourself (trust me, I know. That's all I wanted--was to be alone. But I knew I needed to be around people), don't. Being by yourself is probably the worst thing you could do. It's a battle--being by yourself or being surrounded by those you love.
Death sucks. It may feel like the end of the world, but it's not. It'll hurt like hell for awhile, but then it'll get better. Take slow steps and go through the grieving process. As my friend told me, "As long as you don't unpack and live in one negative emotion, you're good" What she means is that don't stay in one part of the grieving process--go through ALL of them. Let yourself be emotionally raw, because it's probably what you need.
Anyway, sorry for the heavy topic!
I hope you all have an awesome Thanksgiving!
Hey all, There have been some slight changes to my blog! I wish I was more tech savvy, but oh well. Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to start a new thing on my blog. It's called "Bitches on the Bus". YouTuber Alessia has a segment on her channel called that. (Give credit where credit is due. Lol). Anyway, Click on the link in the upper right hand corner and read about it! It'll take you to my Tumblr--which you can also check out! Winter is coming. Most or all of the trees lost their leaves already. Oh! Also, you should check Elle King out. Here's one of my favorite songs by her.
Hey all, Well, it's everybody's favorite time of the year! Besides Fall, that is...
Ah yes. The time where America loses its fucking mind and is made to pick sides.
But this year... The candidates are well...
Clinton and Trump
Keep in mind, that Clinton has more politicalness than Trump. Trump is nothing but an overgrown toddler who throws a fit whenever he doesn't get his way.
But yet. The US Government had already given him briefings on confidential matters.
Ladies and Gentlemen. We. Are. All. Fucked.
Now, a lot of people hate both Clinton and Trump. I hate Trump more than anything in the entire world. People have compared Trump to Hitler.
Well, isn't it kind of true? As a Historian, this is fascinating to me.
What do you think would happen if Trump was elected?
All the hate, racism, gay rights, women's rights...
It would all go away while the hate grew stronger.
We would go back to living in the 20s--where women were oppressed and we would be a laughing stock of the entire world. Schools would go to hell, our literacy rates would go down--we'd be known as the stupidest fucking country in the entire world.
All because people elected somebody who:
A: Has NO political background
B: BOUGHT his way into the election
C: Spoke the truth.
But, here's my biggest issue (Besides Trump becoming President).
IF YOU'RE NOT REGISTERED TO VOTE
YOUDO NOT HAVE AN OPINION
YOUDO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BITCH/MOAN/WHINE/COMPLAIN.
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR VOICE HEARD.
BECAUSE YOU DID NOT VOTE, YOU LOST YOUR CHANCE.
IF YOU DO NOT VOTE, YOU SHOULD SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.
God, I fucking hate it when people don't vote and they still bitch/moan/whine/complain. I registered. I voted.
And I did NOT vote for Trump. Fuck that idiot. I am by no means conservative. My mom raised me to keep an open mind. Not a closed one.
All I can say, is that if Trump is elected, I may be moving to a different country. If Trump is elected, then I will say that I am not a proud American.
Yes, Clinton has her faults. Everybody does. You may or may not agree with her policies and this and that of hers. Welcome to politics. Welcome to the world.
Come Election Day, the very world we live in is going to be rocked. And probably not in the good way.
Anyway, that's all I really had to say-- actually, no, it's not. But I digress.
Hey all! Wowza. School has been hectic! I'm now on a semester system (so that means instead of starting in SEPTEMBER, I started in AUGUST) and it's only week 5 (<-- T_T) There's about... 16 weeks in a semester, I believe. Ugh. I'm all settled in my apartment back in Minnesota and I have to say, I miss Washington. I miss my mom, alot. But, that being said, what's that saying? "Distance makes the heart grow fonder". Well, my heart is quite fond of where it was! I recently upgraded my iPhone! I now have the 6s. I refuse to get the 7, because that thing isn't a phone--it's a mini tablet. Anway... There isn't really much to say, just that I've been studying for about 18+ hours, so that's plenty of fun. Anyway, I better get back at it. Laters, ~Rio
Hey all, In case you didn't know, I'm moving back to Minnesota! I grew up there and have always loved it there--especially the winters. I know, I know... Most of you are thinking, "You're CRAZY!". Now as I sit here, typing this, I'm looking around at my empty room and realizing that the day is almost here. I leave Sunday afternoon and my life is all packed away in my living room. I don't know what I'm feeling, because I guess it hasn't fully set in yet. I asked my mom when it'll fully kick in and she said, "When you're in the truck and you're on the road" Usually happens. Hopefully, Hannibal will take the travelling okay... Also, sorry about the format of the last blog! Super weird! Anyway, I've better get back at it. Laters, ~Rio