The count down for my birthday officially beings!
51 days.
I'm currently listening to Christina Aguliera's "Hurt".
My mind...is drawing a current blank on what I want to say, my thoughts... are all scrambled and like puzzle pieces. Constantly trying to fit the pieces. I guess I don't know what I'm really writing, could it be just...ramblings or something more?
Sitting all alone in my room, TV on mute...music going... I should be happy, right? I mean, it's my favorite time of the year...Why am I... silent...sad...?
"Whats up?" Mark asked..
What is up? I silently ask myself, I cannot come up with an answer...So I make something...
"I'm just having baby blues" I reply, hoping he'd buy it...Looks like he did...
I don't know what I want...
"We're in a rut" I tell him, "Always doing the same things over and over again..."
Then why is my heart aching so much?
"I miss the old us..." He replys.
What is the old us? I'm still the carefree bitch I always am... *sighs softly*
What is it that's truly missing? Why can't I find it?
How can I tell Mark what's really bothering me if I don't know? But what if I do know, but I don't know how to phrase it into words?
I guess...
I'll just...
Go...
Ponder...
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