Guys.

Guys,

I guess I read to much into those steamy romance novels... I used to be able to tell anybody anything that was on my mind... But now? I guess I've calmed down waaaay to much... I'm not being true to myself...Not anymore... It's not your fault... I used to do anything... I was just to emotional or something... but... I don't even know what to say... The truth would be nice, wouldn't it?

You know I haven't been sleeping all that well-- Or not at all... I've tried sleeping pills... They don't work worth shit... I should've been able to take you both, pain or no. I just...I wish that sometimes, you would be rough with me... Talk dirty... Call me names... Curse...Growl, snarl... whatever. Yeah, it's nice to slow down...but sometimes, I need variety...

I don't know what to say... I'm at a loss of words... I know you both love me...very much... And I too, love you, very much...

So after staying up all night-- again...I've been thinking and pondering... Maybe it's just me... You say I'm bringing you pleasure, but am I really? Maybe... Just maybe... we need something...new... You know I'm open to just about anything... 

I know I'm tired... I know you're concerned... But look at it this way... More time for us to talk, if you want...

I'll write more later when my brain is funtioning with caffine/suger.

Love,
Sam.