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How do you express what you're feeling into words? Putting on the smile is as hard as making them believe that you're ok. But you have that one person who truly cares about you and what do you do? You push them away. You don't want to drag anybody into it, but you hurt them more. You tell them you're ok, that everything's ok, but it's not, the harsh part is that they know you're lying... They let you lie because they want to believe in the lie also... 

Depression is a bitch, I should know because I've been having more funks since my sleeping problems have started. Maybe if I get enough sleep, I'll be back to myself again... But with school starting, and all the homework, community service hours, college and eventually moving, and packing? My time will be consumed with that. Always keeping my mind busy so that I don't have time to think about the funk I'm in. But when I lay in bed and look up on my ceiling, my mind starts to wind down, dwindling down into the nothingness that was there before. Only feelings of guilt and suicide.

That's what you have friends for, in this fucked up world. Friends are whatever, but Best Friends are FOREVER! Never forget that. You feel that pain in your chest, thinking that nobody cares about you... That they want you out of their lives, well, fuck them. I'm stronger than that because I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck. Not anymore, that is. Back then, I used to care...Alot. I went as far as to start cutting, trying to relieve the pain, I wanted to die... I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to be popular, I wanted to wear all the cool clothes that the skinny barbies were wearing... Now? I don't. I don't want to have anything to do with them. They know I'll fuck them up if they get to close. I intimidate them... Just like I want.

There will always be a helping hand always ready to help you. Don't think just because one person doesn't care, the rest don't. I care... That's why we cliq so good, I guess. Everybody has their ups and downs...You know what that makes us?

Human.