Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My Death-- My words.

It was a gloomy April day as the rain had kept raining throughout the day as I walked down the streets of Vancouver, hoping to find some peace, some solitude. I thought I had a life… I thought everything was perfect… I thought I had friends… I thought that I had finally found my peace of mind. But I was wrong. Always partnered up with somebody, they exclude me from their plans… Wanting to spend time alone together; I didn’t know where exacally I was going, I just walked wherever my feet would take me. I can remember just leaving my house and walking. My mind had been focused on my friends… My life didn’t have any meaning… Didn’t have any color…
Would you miss me if I left you behind? Would you even care if I left? I guess nothing in my life doesn’t matter anymore; but did it ever? You say that you’re my best friend and I believed you. I let you use me in hopes of finding some sort of happiness with you… Your presence brings me some comforting of peace… I guess I don’t know what else to do.
I walk down these rainy streets with my head held low. I don’t know as much as you do… Constantly asking you stupid, useless questions that have people looking at me weird; I never fit in with your circle… Never fit in with anybody or anything. My grip on this world is slowly slipping as back hits the wall. My wrists ache from the deep, never ending carvings that I had placed upon them. My tears mixed in with the rain as my back hit the wall.
My eyes grow heavy as I slid down the wall of some ally. I guess I’ll never do anything that I wanted to do… But I guess that’s alright… My memories flashed of all my “Friends” and “Family” as I remembered all the bullshit we did… All the fun… I guess I won’t be able to tell you how much I appreciate you… How much you caring about me really meant to me… I guess I’m just another face in the world… Another forgotten memory… A smile curved on my lips as my eyes slipped shut, closing for all eternity as my pain drifted away, never to be heard of again.

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